“Dei Gwalia!

“I mean look you lot for pity’s sake we’ve been over this. Don’t kick the b***dy penalties away!

Yes, Hayley, I know that Thomas Castaignede whacks them into touch from there at Saracens, but he can kick the damn thing 50 yards with pin-point accuracy while you can barely manage half that. And even then its not the touchline you hit but instead the biggest damn centre in the East of England who then runs back through you and score a damn try. Ych a fe!

“Come on. Get with the programme people!!”

Well, actually you don’t say that. Except maybe under your breath maybe as you trot over the small knot of young teenage girls milling around under the posts, carrying the bottles of water, and desperately trying to smile and think of how to put a positive spin on things.

But we are being is shade premature here.

Hi. John Birch. Coach/Manager/Water carrier for Letchworth Garden City Girls, a junior rugby team based in Hertfordshire, England. If you’ve got a map we’re situated 30 miles north of London.

Yes, that makes me male on a women’s rugby site. Hang head in shame. Sorry – but oddly enough - for various reasons – I’ve been involved in women’s and girls’ sport now for about 20 years now so, well, maybe I’ve earned honorary membership?

Admittedly not rugby until 12 months ago. But there wasn’t a team before was there?

And yes, okay, I was always crap at rugby when at school and my games teachers would now be falling over in fits of hysterical laughter if they knew that I was coaching the game.

“Those who can do, those who can’t teach”. Yes. Heard it. Very original.

And no I am not going to trot out the boring old touch-rugby-on-ice story. Well, not this time. Its a bit gruesome after all and we don’t want to upset the readership. Another time maybe.

Okay. Introductions over.

Picture the scene. Today is Sunday 17th April 2005, the sun is shining (yes it is – honest – that big round bright thing IS the sun!) on a pleasant spring morning (or afternoon now), and we are standing on the touchline of Welwyn Garden City’s second team pitch as the might (not a word chosen lightly I assure you) of the home side’s girls take on my lot in what is the last game of our regular season. We’ve still got six weeks left mind, but its sevens and stuff after today.

The home side? Oh - they are the ones in the purple and white. Our heros, on the other hand, are playing right to left in the amber and black. No that’s AMBER – not yellow. Never yellow! It’s the second half and that makes it 39-0. To them, yes.

I agree, they do seem a bit bigger than our girls. Well, mainly because they are I suppose – I mean they are a year or so older on average and have also been playing for three years or more. Whereas our girls started playing last September, or October for the older ones. Except “small” Hayley out there - she started four weeks ago. Yes, she is brave isn’t she.

So in fact we are doing rather well all in all. Better than we did when the came to our place in November. No – don’t ask, just look it up on the web.

So how did we get here? How do you start a girls’ rugby team from (almost) nothing and 12 months later find them taking on one of the two best sides in the county? Well, not by dint of careful planning, I can assure you, but by taking it one mildly accidental step after another…

A year ago a friend of my daughter’s (my daughter is the tall, blonde-haired second row… who just dropped the bloody ball again! Ooo - that’s got to hurt!) wanted to try the game and we couldn’t find her a club. (Oh good take in the line Hayley – her hands are so good for someone so small – now pass it wide…!) Then, in the process of looking, we discovered the district (North Herts) were looking for someone to run their girls tag rugby team at Herts Youth Games. So I jumped in and said I’d do it.

(Come on – drive over! Better!!)

Anyway, £250 worth of equipment excited the junior section at the men’s club, where a couple of the coaches had daughters who were interested. Throw in my daughter, a few more friends, and a couple more girls from Hitchin and we had a team!

(Don’t pass standing still - run onto it!)

We did ... moderately at the Games, but the girls wanted to stay together and so – apart from the Hitchin contingent – we started up the girls team with seven girls in September. Word got round, friends told friends, and we now have… erm… 21 on the books, generally aged from 13-15 (but with a couple of younger ones) making us possibly the most successful “new start” side in Hertfordshire this season.

(Pass the thing sooner!!)

On the field its gone pretty well – I won’t bore you with scores, reports, etc. - you can see them on the website (http://www.letchworthrugby.com) - but we’ve beaten al the other new start sides – normally quite comfortably. The likes of Welwyn are a different matter though. Experience counts.

How long to go? About five minutes I think. Ah – we’ve still got the ball though. That’s Naomi by the way – she is a star. Fantasic player. Sheesh – she nearly got through there! Come on – keep it going. Oh – well picked up Jade (that’s the loose head prop – the one who hurt her neck in the first half– that’s why we’ve gone uncontested in this half).

Heck – she’s shaken them off and broken through! GO ON JADE!!!! It’s a long way from a prop to run, though, about 60 yards I guess. KEEP GOING!! Where the heck is the support – for pity’s sake if they catch here there’s no-one in support. Chase after her you idiots! How many times…

She’s into the 22, but the defenders are gaining. 10 out and they’ve caught her – bugger. But she’s not going down… where is the support… maybe its not going to be needed.. GO ON JADE!!!

YESSSS!!!!!

Well, that was something. You’d think we’d won a cup final going by the celebrations – and look at the Welwyn girls! Now, if you’d only just arrived who do you think would be 39-5 ahead at the minute?

[Later that evening]

Naomi missed the kick, and Welwyn ran in another couple of tries, but all in all not a bad day in the end. Reina Birak’s injured her leg though - which could give us a problem for Herts Sevens next week as, even with Reina, we only have seven U17s. Start praying I think.

It was off to Saracens afterwards with my children and two of the girls, all of whom got to parade round the ground as representatives of Letchworth before Sarries game with Leicester. And Sarries won, with French international Thomas Castaignede scoring all the points, much to Carla’s delight (and most of the female spectators I imagine – he has that reputation).

And so home in time for the highlights on TV (not the same as being there), bed, and the end of another looong weekend. Just six more to go…..

So - here endeth the first article. Paula suggested I give this a go and I hope it was worthwhile and you got something out of it. Feedback would be nice - questions/ comments/ suggestions whatever. I have a thick skin so don’t be shy.

John Birch
Manager, Girls’ section
Letchworth Garden City RUFC